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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25520299">desert flowers</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonbinaryezrabridger/pseuds/nonbinaryezrabridger'>nonbinaryezrabridger</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Finn is a Skywalker (Star Wars), Jedi Finn (Star Wars), Jedi Leia Organa, Not Canon Compliant, don’t copy to other sites</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:00:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,776</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25520299</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonbinaryezrabridger/pseuds/nonbinaryezrabridger</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn has escaped the first order on his own and survived by moving from place to place. He arrives on Jakku, where he meets the scrapper Rey, who offers to let him stay at her place (for a price of course). They quickly grow fond of each other as they struggle to survive on Jakku.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Background Luke/Lando, Finn/Rey (Star Wars)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>63</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. arrival</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>idk what this story is, king of a rewrite of canon bc obviously I wasn't happy with it.</p><p>no tw for this chapter</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>----------</p>
<p>Finn enters the small but sturdy building with only a hint of hesitation. People are dangerous to be around; first order spies are everywhere. He looks around at the crowd inside the bar, all the people carrying that sort of weight that comes from working hard and gaining little. Finn completes his scan and sees nothing suspicious, so he continues inside. </p>
<p>He steps up to the bar; bartenders can often be wellsprings of information, if paid well enough. The being—who appears human and has her hair up in three buns—doesn’t look at him as she wipes out a glass with a rag. He considers the most polite way to get her attention and settles upon saying: </p>
<p>“Excuse me.”</p>
<p>She looks up but doesn’t stop cleaning the glass. She asks: </p>
<p>“You want a drink?”</p>
<p>He shakes his head and says:</p>
<p>“No, I’m here for information.”</p>
<p>Her face turns dismissive and she’s beginning to turn away. That is, until he pulls out his credits purse with a jingle. She turns back, her attention held by the metallic bars now sitting in his palm. She finally meets his eyes and even puts on a small, polite smile. He quirks his lips in return, but it’s not quite a real smile. </p>
<p>“I’m looking for lodging. Direct me to somewhere to stay and I’ll make it worth your time.”</p>
<p>The bartender shifts and says casually:</p>
<p>“There is no official lodging on Jakku, we don’t get visitors. We’re a scrapping planet. However, I may have an extra room I could put you up in, if you made it worth my while.”</p>
<p>Finn considers; she looks tough, but hopefully she’s not going to rob him or turn him in. It’s the best offer he’s going to get, he decides. </p>
<p>“You have a deal.”</p>
<p>——————</p>
<p>Finn has taken a seat at a table with a clear view of the door; he has to wait for the bartender---whose name he still doesn’t know---to get off work. He’s watching a game of sabacc being played a couple tables over when someone slides into the booth next to him. They’re a wiry Twi’lek, hard work obvious in their callous hands and strong arms. One of their lekku has been severed and hangs short. Despite their rough appearance, they give him a sweet smile. </p>
<p>“Hey. You looking for some conversation?”</p>
<p>Finn smiles back, genuine but still guarded. </p>
<p>“How much will it cost me?”</p>
<p>They smirk---he’s not as innocent as he looks---and say:</p>
<p>“Credit an hour.”</p>
<p>For a moment Finn is tempted---it’s been a while since he had a real conversation with another being, been a while since he had time to just sit and talk. But there’s too much danger of them asking questions about him, so he regretfully says:</p>
<p>“No thanks.”</p>
<p>They sigh but give him another friendly smile before getting up. They speak over their shoulder as they leave:</p>
<p>“Change your mind, let me know.”</p>
<p>Finn nods and goes back to watching sabacc.</p>
<p> A couple hours later he gives in and buys a small meal. He picks a random item from the menu, which turns out to be a turnip like vegetable, sliced thin and covered in a local milking animal’s cheese as well as a gravy made from the sand lizards he saw on the way in. He’s most of the way through the plate when an insectoid alien enters and steps up behind the bar to relieve the human bartender. She sets down the glass she was holding and heads towards Finn. When she slides into the booth next to him he pushes the plate over to her, offering what’s left of the meal. She looks surprised for a moment before digging in and polishing it off. Finn laughs and asks:</p>
<p>“Did I do something weird?”</p>
<p>She swallows and explains:</p>
<p>“Food is pretty precious around her. Most people aren’t willing to share.”</p>
<p>Finn hmms, and considers that. It makes him glad he’d offered the food to her, she seemed to enjoy it. Sharing was discouraged in the ranks of the first order stormtroopers, but he and FN 863 had made a habit of sharing their food. His thoughts sour thinking of FN 863; who is long dead, but he brightens at the idea of continuing this tradition with his new friend. FN 863 would approve, he thinks. He’s shaken out of his thoughts when the bartender rises, tugging at his arm.</p>
<p>“Hey, let’s get going.”</p>
<p>He stands and follows her out into the sandy landscape, the wind sending a fine mist of sand into his face as they leave. The bartender is striding through the dunes with determination and Finn rushes to catch up. They get on a blocky, square shaped speeder and take off. He yells over the oncoming storm:</p>
<p>“Hey, what’s your name?”</p>
<p>She turns back, eyes squinted against the sand, and gives him another small smile.</p>
<p>“I’m Rey. And you?”</p>
<p>He smiles back, and says proudly:</p>
<p>“My name's Finn.”</p>
<p>He had picked it himself, and such he counts it as very precious. Rey nods and focuses back on driving. </p>
<p>They leave the small town and make their way out into the dunes. Finn watches the threatening sky with concern and asks Rey:</p>
<p>“Should we be worried about that storm?”</p>
<p>She shakes her head, strands of hair knocked out of her buns whipping in the wind.</p>
<p>“No, we’ll get to my home before it hits for real. For now, it’ll just be windy.”</p>
<p>Finn nods and keeps up with her until they come within sight of a mass, huddled on top of a dune. As they come into sight of the metal, Finn gapes.</p>
<p>“You live in an ATAT?”</p>
<p>Rey turns back to look at him, curious.</p>
<p>“I’ve heard it called that. Didn't know what it means.”</p>
<p>They are close to it now and when they dismount the speeder Finn steps up to it, running his hand over its side, which is still slightly warm from the day time sun.</p>
<p>“It’s a weapon, an old one. ”</p>
<p>He stops himself before he can say more; better not to reveal how much he knows about imperial weapons. He throws another glance at the now much closer storm and says:</p>
<p>“Shall we go inside?”</p>
<p>Rey leads the way inside, into a homely little space. There’s a vase of wilted dry flowers on the table and a small doll dressed in orange on the shelf. One metal panel in the room is covered in scratch marks, counting down the days. Finn looks it over, doing the math in his head as Rey pulls out a bedroll. As she puts it down on the floor he asks:</p>
<p>“You weren’t born here?”</p>
<p>She almost flinches and he suddenly realizes that may have been a personal question. But then she shrugs and says:</p>
<p>“No, I remember being left here when I was young. Struggled to survive since then.”</p>
<p>Finn feels a wave of empathy and says quietly:</p>
<p>“I never knew my parents ethier.”</p>
<p>Her smooth movement stutters and she looks up at him with wide brown eyes. They simply stare at each other for a moment, her surprise at his personal admission palpable. She must not have expected him to share so quickly. He doesn’t really know why he did, ethier. </p>
<p>Then, slowly, she smiles wider than he’s seen so far and says:</p>
<p>“Guess we have something in common then.”</p>
<p>The moment is broken and she pats the bedroll. </p>
<p>“You’ll sleep here. Want some dinner?”</p>
<p>-----------</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. breakfast</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>there's been a wonderful response to this story so far, so thank you guys! I hope you continue to enjoy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>no tw for this chapter</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>---------</p>
<p>Finn is glad the bunks in training were so hard; they make the floor feel like nothing. He wakes when rey comes into the main room and begins preparing breakfast, which is the same prepared pack of green mush as dinner was last night. He’s beginning to understand why she was so surprised when he shared his food last night. Rey finishes pouring water over the food, which expands into it’s edible form, before setting his portion down next to his bed roll and walking past him. She speaks as she leaves:</p>
<p>“I like to eat watching the sun rise, if you’d like to join me.”</p>
<p>Finn shakes off the sleep and rises, pulling on his jacket against the still cool early morning desert air. He grabs the plate and follows her, out to a beautiful sunrise. Pinks and purples are painted across the sky and he sighs; having been practically raised in space, he appreciates a good sunrise. It’s a type of beauty he only rarely gets to see. Well, now that he’s escaped, maybe he’ll see it more. It’s a hopeful thought and it makes him smile. Rey looks over at him, finishing chewing before she speaks:</p>
<p>“You like it?”</p>
<p>Finn nods.</p>
<p>“Yes, it’s beautiful.”</p>
<p>She grins and agrees:</p>
<p>“Yep. I watch it every day and it never gets old.”</p>
<p>Finn begins to dig into the paltry meal that must be standard around here. Not that he’s used to amazing food, but this is still small and sad. As he eats, he watches Rey and asks:</p>
<p>“So what are you up to today? Another bartending shift?”</p>
<p> Rey sighs and sets aside her now empty plate.</p>
<p>“Not until the evening. During the day I go scrapping, that’s how I really earn my keep. I bartend on the side, trying to save up.”</p>
<p>“What for?”</p>
<p>Rey smiles shyly, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Her hair is already up in her triple buns. </p>
<p>“Well, it’s sort of silly, but I’m hoping to buy passage off Jakku. If you get enough portions you can convert them to credits. That’s how I’m hoping to get out.”</p>
<p>“Where will you go?”</p>
<p>Rey laughs.</p>
<p>“No idea. Anywhere but here, I think.”</p>
<p>Finn shrugs.</p>
<p>“That works.”</p>
<p>Rey stands and stretches, apologizing:</p>
<p>“I’ve got to go, start time is in ten minutes.”</p>
<p>Finn waves her off, saying:</p>
<p>“No worries, I’m fine here.”</p>
<p>She heads off on her speeder and he finishes his breakfast.</p>
<p>--------</p>
<p>Finn has two portions prepared and ready by the time Rey comes home. She comes inside, shaking off the sand, and sits heavily in the single chair in the main room. Finn hands her a cup of water and her dinner and she sighs out:</p>
<p>“Thanks.”</p>
<p>He asks, feeling a mixture of concern and empathy---he had worked in a mine on Kylthar for a few months, and this seems like comparable work. </p>
<p>“Hard day?”</p>
<p>Rey smiles ruefully.</p>
<p>“When isn’t it?”</p>
<p>Finn sighs and takes a seat on his bedroll, looking up at her. He had spent the day with essentially nothing to do but sleep, and he doesn’t like that feeling.</p>
<p>“Rey, I’d like to earn my keep. Will the taskmaster allow me to scrap for portions?”</p>
<p>Rey chuckles.</p>
<p>“The taskmaster will let anyone scrap, just show up at first call tomorrow and he’ll give you work. We could work together, as a pair, if you wanted?”</p>
<p>Finn nods, it’ll be good to get back to work, and the extra money can’t hurt. </p>
<p>“Perfect.”</p>
<p>---------</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. scrapping</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw for this chapter:</p>
<p>canon typical threat of death</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>---------</p>
<p>Finn is there at Rey’s side at sunrise, having eaten breakfast together, and now waiting in line for first call. The taskmaster assigns a section of the crashed ships to each scrapper and sends them on their way. When Finn and Rey make their way to the front, the taskmaster barely looks Finn over before accepting his presence. He’s just another worker to make the taskmaster his credits. The taskmaster grunts out:</p>
<p>“Section AB-15.”</p>
<p>And they’re on their way. As they climb a dune to the crashed ship, leaving the speeder waiting at the bottom. Rey has left some nasty traps for whoever may try to steal it, so Finn doesn’t worry about it still being there when they get back. They walk into the looming shadow of the massive ship, craning their necks to look up at it’s metal mass. The shade is a relief after standing in the desert sun. </p>
<p>Rey leads the way inside, her voice echoing around the cavernous insides of the ship as she says:</p>
<p>“We got lucky, he gave us an easy section today. A good section to start you on.”</p>
<p>Finn picks his way around the debris in the hallway, listening to the sound of the hull creaking. Rey stops and begins unscrewing a piece of wall plating. She instructs him:</p>
<p>“We’re going to pull all the wiring out of this wall. Got it?”</p>
<p>Finn nods and crouches to start ripping out handfuls of wiring. He’s done similar work for the first order; the opposite really, placing wiring instead of pulling it. This is much simpler and he quickly gets the hang of it. They work their way down the hallway until there’s no wall left. Rey continues down the walkway across a bridge which hangs over a deep cavern. Finn barely has time to get nervous about crossing it when his foot slips. He goes toppling over, just managing to throw out a hand behind him and grip the edge of the walkway. He looks down and gulps. He can feel his fingers slipping; his hold isn’t good enough for him to pull himself up one handed. He yells:</p>
<p>“Rey!”</p>
<p>For a moment he thinks she’s abandoned him. Then he hears running footsteps and she appears. She grabs his arm and extends her other hand. He strains and grabs her hand with his hand not holding onto the walkway. Slowly, she pulls him up. Once his torso is back up on the walkway he wiggles, kicking his legs to help push himself back up. Finally he’s lying on solid ground again. He stays there panting, watching Rey, who is sitting next to him.</p>
<p>After a moment of silence he says:</p>
<p>“You could have left me and taken all my credits. You knew I left them in my bedroll.”</p>
<p>Rey sighs and shrugs.</p>
<p>“I may be desperate, but I’m not a murderer.”</p>
<p>Finn laughs weakly but genuinely and says:</p>
<p>“Good to know.”</p>
<p>Rey lets him rest a moment longer before she extends a hand and helps him up.</p>
<p>“Come on, there’s a whole day of work left to do.”</p>
<p>------------</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. desert flowers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you guys for all the wonderful comments on this work, I'm really glad you're enjoying it!</p>
<p>no tw for this chapter</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>---------</p>
<p>Finn wakes with a jerk, a hand gently shaking him awake. He mumbles:</p>
<p>“Wha?”</p>
<p>Rey laughs above him and says:</p>
<p>“Get up and come with me. I’ve got something to show you.”</p>
<p>Finn grumbles at being woken but follows good naturedly. Rey is waiting outside with her speeder. The sun isn’t even up yet, leaving the desert a muddle of greys. Finn rubs the sleep from his eyes and asks:</p>
<p>“Why are we up so early? Isn’t it rest day?”</p>
<p>Rey nods and says:</p>
<p>“It is, but I thought we’d do something special today.”</p>
<p>She throws a leg over the speeder before sitting and patting the seat behind her.</p>
<p>“Come on, it’s a long ride.”</p>
<p>Curiosity piqued, Finn takes the seat and they roar off over the dunes.</p>
<p>---------</p>
<p>He’s half asleep against Rey’s back when she yells over the wind:</p>
<p>“We’re almost there!”</p>
<p>He perks up and looks around, spotting a dark smudge against the horizon, too small to be one of the crashed ships they scrap in. He peers at it, trying to distinguish what it is. They pull up and come to a stop and he’s able to get a glance at what appears to be a simple rocky outcrop. Perhaps unusual because there’s nothing else but sand around, but beyond that it looks desolate and uninteresting. Still, he has faith in Rey; she doesn’t seem the pranking type.</p>
<p>Rey hops up onto the outcropping and gives him a hand up and begins to walk. He follows, looking around, trying to guess what they’re here for. He has no idea, and continues to be clueless as they cross the whole outcropping. Rey jumps off the other side, feet landing and sending up a puff of sand. Then she turns to Finn and says:</p>
<p>“We’re here.”</p>
<p>He looks around again; still nothing. Rey says:</p>
<p>“It’s well hidden. Under here.”</p>
<p>She points to a small shelf of rock that runs along the side of the outcropping, which he had completely missed before. He crouches and looks before gasping.</p>
<p>“They’re beautiful.”</p>
<p>Growing along the shelf are desert flowers, like the ones in her vase in the ATAT. These ones are alive however, and are a bright vibrant red. Rey pulls a pair of scissors out of her pocket and crouches as well. She says:</p>
<p>“I can’t harvest them too often, they need to bloom and go to seed to continue the colony. However, occasionally I’ll take a couple to brighten up my home. See any you particularly like?”</p>
<p>Finn points out one with hints of purple at the tips of it’s petals and Rey clips it off, carefully putting it in a container she had carried with them. She picks one as well and adds it to the other. Then she steps back and says:</p>
<p>“I hope that was worth the long ride.”</p>
<p>Finn can't help but grin. He’s thankful Rey wants to share the secrets of Jakku’s deserts with him.</p>
<p>“It definitely was.”</p>
<p>Rey smiles.</p>
<p>“Good. Now let’s go home and get these in some water.”</p>
<p>Finn can’t stop smiling on the walk back to the speeder. The word home echoes in his mind. He’s never really found a home before, always on the move. Is he really making a home here with Rey? He hopes so; it’s a good feeling to think of the cramped ATAT as home.</p>
<p>-------</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. braiding</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>making up planet names is like *keyboard smash* and done </p>
<p>no tw for this chapter</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>--------</p>
<p>Finn is lying on his bedroll, fiddling with one of his few possessions: a pair of comlinks. He’d dug them out of a junk pile on Husgar and is now attempting to fix them so they’ll be usable. It’s a nice project to work on, but they also may be useful. He looks up as Rey enters the room and does a double take.</p>
<p>“Your hair is down.”</p>
<p>She sighs, brushing a lock that’s fallen over her shoulder back.</p>
<p>“I know. I was just too lazy to do buns today. It’s rest day, and you are the only person who’ll see me ao...”</p>
<p>He stumbles over his words, wanting to reassure her he didn’t mean it in a bad way.</p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s fine! It looks good.”</p>
<p>She smiles at him as she pours a cup of caf, and says:</p>
<p>“Thanks.”</p>
<p>As she sits down at the table, reading a worn out book and sipping at her caf, he watches as her fingers absently play with her hair, curling it around her fingers, finger combing it, and finally settling on braiding it.</p>
<p>He asks:</p>
<p>“You know how to braid?”</p>
<p>She looks surprised for a moment before she looks at what her hands were doing and says:</p>
<p>“Oh yeah. One of my fellow scrappers, he’s dead now, but he taught me.”</p>
<p>Finn muses to himself:</p>
<p>“I’d like to know how to braid.”</p>
<p>Next thing he knows Rey is  flopping down on the ground next to him. She gives him a grin and asks:</p>
<p>“Want me to teach you?”</p>
<p>Finn can’t help but feel his eyes widen.</p>
<p>“You would do that for me?”</p>
<p>Rey shrugs.</p>
<p>“It’s a useful skill to have.”</p>
<p>She shows him how to do it, walking him through the steps as her fingers work in her hair. He focuses intently, wanting to learn this new skill. Then, once she’s shown him a couple times, she tilts her head towards him to offer up her hair. He can’t help but ask:</p>
<p>“Oh. You want me to practice on you?”</p>
<p>She smiles up at him through a curtain of hair.</p>
<p>“Yeah. How else would you learn, silly?”</p>
<p>He smiles to himself; he just wasn't sure if they were friends to the point where he could touch her hair. Evidently they are, and it makes him very happy. He also feels hesitant because the first order discouraged displays of affection, but they don’t control him anymore, do they? He’s free now, free to do what he wants, and right now he wants to learn how to braid. So he carefully takes three strands of her hair and starts to braid, trying very hard not to tug too hard on her hair. It’s soft between his fingers and the braiding has a soothing rhythm. He’s finally getting a hang of the braiding when he hears a soft snore. </p>
<p>He laughs to himself; Rey has fallen asleep, head propped up on her hand. He lets the hair drop from his fingers and carefully lays Rey down on the bedroll. She curls into the fabric without waking. He smiles at her affectionately and goes to the table to continue work on his comlinks as she sleeps.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--------</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. confession</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>at last, we get to the good stuff!</p>
<p>no tw for this chapter</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>--------</p>
<p>Finn has been on Jakku for two months now, and him and Rey have become fast friends. They’ve almost earned enough portions, plus the credits Finn had brought with him, to leave Jakku. He tries to think about leaving Jakku without Rey, and he can’t even imagine it. She’s the first real friend he’s had since FN 863. He doesn’t know if it’s too much, but he’s going to ask her if she’ll stay with him after they leave Jakku. </p>
<p>They’re sitting, watching the sunrise, knowing they won’t be watching these same suns soon. Soon they’ll be in the starlight darkness of space, or on planets with different suns altogether. Finn will miss these sunsets. He gathers his courage and asks:</p>
<p>“Rey, I wanted to ask...once we leave Jakku, will you stay with me?”</p>
<p>She turns to look at him and his stomach flips nervously, but she’s smiling, rosey light playing across her face from the sunrise.</p>
<p>“Finn, I was waiting for you to ask me that.”</p>
<p>Finn laughs, relieved.</p>
<p>“I assume that’s a yes, then?”</p>
<p>Rey leans in and lays her head on his shoulder, cuddling up close to his side. </p>
<p>“Of course.”</p>
<p>Finn lets his head fall on top of hers. Then, suddenly she pulls away, looking him in the eye as she raises a hand to cup his cheek. He can feel the tension in the air and he realizes, suddenly, what he wants. Rey is watching him, intent, and he decides to make a move.</p>
<p>“Rey, I want to kiss you.”</p>
<p>Her smile grows into a grin.</p>
<p>“I want to kiss you too.”</p>
<p>He nods sagely and jokes:</p>
<p>“Well that works out, then.”</p>
<p>She laughs and leans in, kissing him softly. He’s kissed before, secret things snuck in the barracks, but nothing like this. Not with someone he loves this much, loves so wholeheartedly it aches. He pulls away, a sudden wave of guilt hitting him. He has to tell Rey the truth; she says she wants to come with him, but she doesn’t know the truth of who he is. She doesn’t know the danger she’ll be in if she stays with him. </p>
<p>Rey asks, concern in her voice:</p>
<p>“What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>He bows his head, fear swirling in his stomach.</p>
<p>“Rey I have to tell you the truth.”</p>
<p>She looks at him softly, understandingly, and says:</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>He takes a deep breath and lets the truth come out:</p>
<p>“I was a stormtrooper. I deserted from the first order.”</p>
<p>He doesn’t want to look up until he hears her say softly.</p>
<p>“Finn, in my book, that makes you very brave.”</p>
<p>Finn smiles weakly at the compliment, but says:</p>
<p>“If you come with you’ll be in danger.”</p>
<p>Rey shakes her head and says:</p>
<p>“I don’t care. I want to be at your side.”</p>
<p>She takes his hand, interlacing their fingers. He tries to let the guilt go; she knows and she still loves him. She’s a grown woman, capable of making the decision to join him, despite the dangers. He leans back in and kisses her again, and it's even better than the first time.</p>
<p>----------</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. escape</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yay Poe gets introduced this chapter!</p><p>tw for this chapter: canon typical violence</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>--------</p><p>Watching the taskmaster’s face as they dump all their earned portions on his desk is wonderful. Holding all their credits is even better. They quickly make their way to where Xndu’s ship is parked. Rey has sold off her speeder and the living space within the ATAT, gaining them a few more credits. She’s practically bouncing in excitement as they board the ship. </p><p>Her face as she sees space for the first time is beautiful to behold.</p><p>Xndu takes them to the nearest spaceport on Hangha. There they board a cargo ship headed for Zander. Zander is a farming planet, they’re hoping they can make a living there. Rey had wanted to live somewhere green, after being trapped on Jakku all those years.</p><p>They’re sitting amongst the cargo, Rey watching excitedly through the viewport as they go through hyperspace. Suddenly, a human man pops up, walking through the cargo bay on a mission. He’s handsome, which distracts Finn for a moment before he suddenly realizes: there aren’t supposed to be any other humans on board. The crew are all droids and the captain is an alien, and there are no other passengers. He pokes Rey and whispers:</p><p>“Rey, that man isn’t supposed to be here.”</p><p>Rey peers at him and then says:</p><p>“Hey, let’s follow him.”</p><p>Finn heistates, but she says:</p><p>“He could be a pirate, or someone dangerous.”</p><p>Finn and Rey get up and tiptoe after the man. They’re almost to the cockpit when they hear:</p><p>“Hand over the controls and put these binders on and I won’t hurt you.”</p><p>Then there’s the sounds of a scuffle and they come around the corner to see the captain and the mysterious man fighting. Suddenly the captain manages to draw his blaster and point it at the man. There’s a flash of fear across the mysterious man’s face and against his better judgement, Finn kicks the blaster out of the captain’s hand. The man lashes out and knocks him out with a punch across the jaw. Then the man turns and begins to say:</p><p>“Thank you--”</p><p>Rey snarls, her staff held threateningly at the man.</p><p>“Hold it. Who are you and why are you attacking this ship?”</p><p>The man puts his hands up and looks nervous. Neither blaster is within his reach, so for the moment Rey has the upper hand. The man sighs and says:</p><p>“My name is Poe.”</p><p>Finn sighs and says.</p><p>“Okay, and?”</p><p>Poe looks increasingly nervous before sighing and saying. </p><p>“I need this cargo desperately. It’s for the relief effort on Vakar.”</p><p>Finn feels pieces begin to slot together in his brain.</p><p>“If you were first order, you wouldn't need to steal these supplies.” </p><p>Rey catches on and gasps:</p><p>“You're with the resistance!”</p><p>Poe looks very nervous. </p><p>Rey turns to Finn and asks:</p><p>“What do we do? We already helped him knock out the captain, that’s not going to go over well.”</p><p>Finn groans but agrees:</p><p>“You’re right, Rey.”</p><p>Then he turns to Poe and asks:</p><p>“If we help you get this shipment to the resistance, will you let us go on our way?”</p><p>Poe looks relieved and nods.</p><p>“On my honor.”</p><p>Finn shrugs.</p><p>“Guess that works.”</p><p>Poe is already sitting in the pilot's seat and getting the ship ready for hyperdrive. He looks over at the unconscious alien in the copilot’s seat and asks apologetically:</p><p>“You guys mind moving him somewhere?”</p><p>Finn sighs but goes to help Rey with moving the captain's unconscious form.</p><p>----------</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. meeting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this story is quickly reaching it's end, i'm thinking one or two more chapters? Anyways, I hope you guys have enjoyed, you've been wonderful readers!</p>
<p>tw for this chapter: none</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>----------</p>
<p>They come out of hyperspace with a jerk, almost throwing Finn and Rey off their feet. Rey grumbles as they make their way back up to the cockpit, but lapses into silence when she sees the sight outside the viewport.</p>
<p>There are so many ships, hammerhead transports painted blue, Mon Calamari command ships in all their oval glory, and small starfighters zipping between them, constantly in motion. Finn is speechless, but Rey manages to put his thoughts into words:</p>
<p>“I didn’t know there were so many of you.”</p>
<p>Poe grins proudly and stands before stepping past them and heading towards the exit.</p>
<p>“Come on you two, time to go report.”</p>
<p>Finn asks:</p>
<p>“You want us to come with you? Why?”</p>
<p>Poe laughs and shrugs.</p>
<p>“It’s nothing suspicious, my superiors just want to meet the people who made a very important mission a success. After all, you guys can take most of the credit.”</p>
<p>Finn sighs. He’s still not sure this is safe, but the resistance is supposed to be the good guys, right?</p>
<p>“Fine.”</p>
<p>Rey and Finn follow Poe down to the docking port, before they head into the bright, clean halls of the rebel command ship. As they enter, a small droid with a ball shaped chassis and orange markings rolls up to Poe, speaking droid excitedly. Rey listens, obviously understanding the chattering, but Finn doesn’t speak droid. Still, all his questions are answered as Poe kneels to give the droid a hug and says:</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m back buddy. And with a mission success too!”</p>
<p>The droid rolls beside Poe as he starts off again, walking down the hall briskly. They pass many determined rebels in bucket shaped helmets, and others who are simply wearing civilian clothes. The crowd increases as they near the command center, until Poe is pushing through people to stride in the door. </p>
<p>Finn steps inside and takes a look at the semi circle of people, their faces brightly lit by a hologram. All his attention is quickly grabbed by a pair of older men. One is white with a greying beard and long, shoulder length hair, and the other is black with short cropped hair and a blue and gold cape around his shoulders. Finn turns to Rey to see her also staring at the bearded man. He must not be the only one who feels it.</p>
<p>It feels like a living thing, curling around him; this sense of power flowing off the man. It reminds him of being around Kylo Ren, but the opposite. This man is smiling slightly, his blue eyes twinkling, and he exudes only kindness. Next to Finn, Rey whispers:</p>
<p>“Luke Skywalker.”</p>
<p>The name clicks in Finn’s head and it makes sense; he’s a jedi knight and a hero of the rebellion. Finn had never expected to be in the same room as him.</p>
<p>Then a woman steps out of the shadows, her hair in elaborate updo that crowns her head. She burns with power the same way Luke does. He notices a metal cylinder on her belt and gasps: is that really a lightsaber? </p>
<p>Poe has been speaking while Finn and Rey have been staring, and he suddenly pulls them forward to introduce them. Finn goes along with it, though he almost panics when both Luke and the powerful woman---who introduces herself as Leia---come over to shake his hand. They say their thanks and Finn nods but he’s speechless. As soon as he can, he pushes past the crowd and leaves the room.</p>
<p>----------</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. talk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw for this chapter: discussions of death</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>-----------</p>
<p>Even as he leaves, something tugs at him, something tells him he should be back in that room. Something had felt so right about standing there at that table, having Luke and Lando and Leia smile at him. That feeling gnaws at him, but he keeps walking away. He walks through random hallways until he reaches a quiet section, a small alcove with a tiny viewport in it. He sits there, stuck in his own thoughts, trying to push away the feeling of belonging here, until he hears footsteps approaching. He knows right away that it’s Rey; it’s almost as if he can feel that it’s her.</p>
<p>She steps into the alcove, smiling softly at him. He gives her a weak smile back and scootches over, making room for her at his side, patting the ground next to him in invitation. She takes the seat, tucking herself into the space between him and the wall. She just barely fits, but she doesn’t seem to mind; she curls into his side and lies her head on his shoulder. Then, quietly, she asks:</p>
<p>“What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>Finn sighs. He’s hesitant to talk about it, that first order training of hiding his feelings still influencing him, but he pushes through. He remembers whispered conversations with FN 863, telling each other what they were feeling after a hard day of training, a flagrant breach of first order protocol. He knows he wants to talk to Rey about this. So he says:</p>
<p>“Rey, this is so dangerous. These people, they’re all wanted by the first order. If they get caught they’ll be massacred.”</p>
<p>Rey hums understandingly.</p>
<p>“I know, Finn. But that’s not what’s really bothering you, is it?”</p>
<p>Finn groans, lets his head drop onto his knees.</p>
<p>“No, it isn’t. What I’m really afraid of is that I know they’re doing the right thing, and that turning my back on them would be wrong.”</p>
<p>Rey smiles up at him brushing her fingers over his shoulder, a comforting repetitive motion. She whispers:</p>
<p>“I’m glad you think that, Finn, because I agree. All my life I’ve been hiding, and now that I have a choice, I don’t want to anymore.”</p>
<p>Finn smiles down at her and raises a hand to brush a few stray strands of her hair behind her ear. He says:</p>
<p>“I’m so afraid, Rey. I’m afraid of losing you to this.”</p>
<p>Rey lifts her head to press a kiss to his cheek and says:</p>
<p>“It’s okay to be afraid, I am too, but we can’t let us stop us.”</p>
<p>Finn laughs.</p>
<p>“I never let it stop me before.”</p>
<p>Rey grins at him proudly as he stands and extends a hand. As he helps her to her feet he asks:</p>
<p>“Shall we go tell them they have two new recruits then?”</p>
<p>She nods and keeps her hold on his hand, turning to face the doorway and all the possibilities outside of it. Together, they step through.</p>
<p>-----------</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. discovery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I got so emotional writing this chapter, it's my favorite so far, so I hope you enjoy! </p>
<p>I also intended for this to be the last chapter, however, I've begun writing more, so I guess this story will be longer than I thought!</p>
<p>tw for this chapter: passing mentions of death</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>---------</p>
<p>Finn lets his feet lead him through the halls of the command ship, not sure where he’s going but knowing it’s where he’ll need to be. He feels it, that he’s headed towards something important, something terrifying in it’s enormity but wonderful at the same time. He ends up on a bridge over a large empty space in the center of the ship, leading to the shield generator in the center. He eyes the bridge with some trepidation but he knows this is much safer than the decaying bridge that he had fallen from while scrapping. Across the bridge, leaning against the railing, is Luke Skywalker. He turns to look at Finn as he enters and smiles warmly. </p>
<p>Finn steps up to him and asks:</p>
<p>“May I join you?”</p>
<p>Luke nods and says:</p>
<p>“Of course.”</p>
<p>Finn leans against the railing, instinctively mirroring Luke’s posture. They stand for a moment in silence, listening to the hum of the machinery, before Luke speaks:</p>
<p>“I’m glad you decided to join us, Finn. I’m sure you’ll be of great value to the resistance.”</p>
<p>Finn pushes down the wave of pride at hearing that and asks:</p>
<p>“What do you mean by that?”</p>
<p>Luke gives Finn a sly smile and says:</p>
<p>“Everyone who joins us has value.”</p>
<p>Finn smiles at his skillful eluding of the question and clarifies:</p>
<p>“But there’s something different about me, isn’t there?”</p>
<p>Luke looks out over the gaping space beneath them, his eyes shining even in the dim lighting. He says:</p>
<p>“You feel it, then. Good.”</p>
<p>Finn feels a wave of frustration rising and says:</p>
<p>“What am I feeling?”</p>
<p>Luke smiles at him and says:</p>
<p>“The force.”</p>
<p>Finn can't believe what he’s hearing.</p>
<p>“You mean the force like Jedi use?”</p>
<p>Luke nods gravely. Finn feels his hands begin to shake as he whispers:</p>
<p>“Am I a Jedi?”</p>
<p>Luke laughs and brushes a strand of his long hair back.</p>
<p>“Not quite yet, but you could be.”</p>
<p>Finn has to take a moment to process that. A Jedi, the most famed warriors, the sworn enemies of the first order. Is this really something he wants? Then he thinks of FN 863 lying on the battlefield, still and cold, and he knows he wants to fight back. He wants to end the first order.</p>
<p>But something still feels undiscovered, like something is still lying in wait. Finn doesn’t know how many more revelations he can take, but he pushes ahead anyways. He asks:</p>
<p>“There’s something more, isn’t there?”</p>
<p>Luke nods and says:</p>
<p>“Search your feelings, you know the truth.”</p>
<p>Finn closes his eyes and just feels. Feels the power coming off of Luke, the power strung through the metal walls around them, his own power coming off him in curling waves. He feels the similarity between him and Luke, how their powers merge together and fit perfectly. He opens his eyes and gasps:</p>
<p>“You’re my father.”</p>
<p>Luke’s eyes are filling with tears as he nods.</p>
<p>“They stole you when you were so young, and no matter how we searched, we couldn’t find you. But I would know you anywhere, son. And I don’t intend to leave you ever again.”</p>
<p>Finn feels choked up with emotion; all this time wondering if he had a family, and here is someone welcoming him home with open arms. He manages to ask:</p>
<p>“Then Lando is my father too?”</p>
<p>Luke smiles through his tears at the mention of his husband.</p>
<p>“Yes. He’s waiting for you in our quarters, whenever you feel ready to talk to him.”</p>
<p>Finn looks down, feeling overwhelmed; surely this is a dream? But no, he can feel this is real, he knows with an unerring certainty that this is all true. He reaches out to touch Luke’s shoulder, as if checking he’s actually real, and dares to say:</p>
<p>“Thank you, Father.”</p>
<p>That causes Luke’s tears to spill over, and he raises a hand to clamp around Finn’s outstretched arm, as if he too needs reassurance. Then he says, voice choked:</p>
<p>“Go see Lando.”</p>
<p>Finn nods and lets go before whirling and running out of the shield generator room. He ducks and dodges other rebels as he makes his way to Luke and Lando’s quarters. He keys the door open to find Lando waiting, stock still, not even his cape swirling. Finn pauses and looks him in his dark eyes before smiling widely and throwing himself forwards. Lando catches him in a hug and swings him around, his arms strong even at his older age. Finn melts into the embrace and simply says:</p>
<p>“Father.”</p>
<p>Lando hugs him tighter and says:</p>
<p>“Welcome home, Finn.”</p>
<p>---------</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. training</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the training sabers came from rebels, which there will be more references to next chapter, because I love rebels so thus you guys will have to hear about it</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>---------</p>
<p>When Finn shows up to the first day of Jedi training, he didn’t expect to be handed a rough hewn stick. Next to him, Rey twirls it happily; it’s similar enough to her staff that she is perfectly at home with it. Finn had learned how to wield all sorts of weapons in his stormtrooper training, but he’s a little rusty on fighting with a staff. So he looks to Luke and Leia and asks:</p>
<p>“What’s this?”</p>
<p>Leia smiles cheekily and says:</p>
<p>“Training saber.”</p>
<p>Finn smiles at her and teases:</p>
<p>“Pretty sure it’s just a stick.”</p>
<p>Leia laughs and shrugs, saying:</p>
<p>“Call it what you want, it’s what we’re using today.”</p>
<p>Finn swings it around, getting used to its weight, and nods his readiness. Leia and Luke have their own sticks and they stand in front of Finn and Rey. Luke speaks:</p>
<p>“Alright, the first thing we’re going to teach you are the forms.”</p>
<p>Him and Leia move fluidly into a ready position and Finn and Rey mirror them to the best of their ability. They continue this way until Finn is sweaty and tired of doing the same thing over and over again, but neither he nor Rey complain. Finally, Luke calls a stop and lets them rest. </p>
<p>Poe, who is watching gleefully from the sidelines, hands him and Rey their water bottles. He teases:</p>
<p>“You’re getting pretty good with those sticks.”</p>
<p>Rey playfully punches him in the shoulder and says: </p>
<p>“Hey, they’re training sabers.”</p>
<p>Finn stretches out his shoulders and gets a drink of water as Rey and Poe argue next to him. Their friendly banter is a pleasant background noise. Then their break is ended as Luke calls:</p>
<p>“Ready for a change of pace?”</p>
<p>Rey and Finn nod eagerly. Luke continues:</p>
<p>“Good. Let’s see you two spar, see what we’re working with.”</p>
<p>Rey grins and turns to Finn, readying her her stick. Finn drops into a ready position, consciously using the first position Luke and Leia showed them rather than the position taught to him by the first order. Him and Rey circle for a moment, sizing each other up, before Rey strikes out. Finn parrys and attacks, falling into a familiar rhythm of aggressive movements. As he fights, he feels his mind narrow and clear, his body tense and focus, until he’s fighting almost without thinking about it. He feels his own power flowing through him and Rey’s through her. Rey fights recklessly, with the desperation of living her early life on Jakku. Finn is the opposite; all control and practiced movements.</p>
<p>Neither of them win; Luke calls out:</p>
<p>“Stop!”</p>
<p>Finn and Rey break apart, panting, and turn to look at their mentors. Leia smiles gently at them and says:</p>
<p>“Very good. That will be all for today.”</p>
<p>Finn and Rey put their sticks away in a cabinet in the cargo hold they were practicing in and head back to their shared quarters, giving Poe a high five each before they leave. As they walk through the halls, Finn reaches out and takes Rey’s hand. She squeezes his hand tightly as they walk and she says:</p>
<p>“You fought well.”</p>
<p>Finn feels a wave of affection and pride and says back:</p>
<p>“So did you.”</p>
<p>Rey gives him one of her bright smiles and he can’t stop smiling the whole walk back to their quarters.</p>
<p>--------</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. temple</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I had an opportunity to add kanan and i jumped on it. if you don't know who he is it's not a big deal, but you should really go watch rebels</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>---------</p>
<p>The shuttle lands in the thickly forested planet, in one of the few clearings they could find. From there, it’s an hour long walk to the Jedi temple. Finn and Rey spend most of it swatting at mosquitoes while Luke and Leia walk along unaffected by the biting insects. Finn almost says something about Jedi having special bug repellent. Finally they reach a towering stone temple, squat and square and covered in moss, with pillars at the front. </p>
<p>Luke leads the way into the labyrinth like temple, the old stone walls covered in ivy and ferns. He takes them through a couple turns until they’ve reached a hallway that splits off in two directions. Then he turns to Finn and Rey and gestures at the dark hallways invitingly.</p>
<p>Rey heads off after a quick word to Leia. Finn stares into the dark hallway and gulps, but looks back at Luke, knowing there is no real danger. Luke scratches at the back of his head nervously and says:</p>
<p>“You may, uh, run into someone. He’s excited to meet you?”</p>
<p>Luke sounds unsure, making it more of a question than a statement. Finn feels his eyes go wide; does someone live here, all alone in this maze? He asks:</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>Luke just smiles and shoos him forwards. Finn sighs and steps into the darkness. He wasn’t allowed to bring a flashlight, so he’s stuck holding his arms out in front of him and hoping he doesn’t run into anything. As he comes around a corner, he spots a soft blue glow and hears the bubbling of a creek. The first thing he notices as he enters an open area is a small waterfall over sharp rocks, filling a pond, as well as the stream that flows out of the cavern. Then he notices a small floating ball of blue light. He turns his attention to it and stutters:</p>
<p>“Uh, hello?”</p>
<p>As he watches, the light grows into a large, humanoid form. It’s a man in traditional brown and tan Jedi robes, not the grey that Luke wears, with slightly curly chin length hair and a scar on his face. Finn looks at him in wonder and asks:</p>
<p>“Are you a ghost?”</p>
<p>The ghosts smiles and says:</p>
<p>“Sure am.”</p>
<p>Finn has nothing to say to that other than:</p>
<p>“Wow.”</p>
<p>The ghost laughs and says:</p>
<p>“But look at you! You’re wonderful, who knew I’d be meeting my grandson-”</p>
<p>Finn jumps in, asking:</p>
<p>“Wait, you’re my grandpa?”</p>
<p>The ghost smiles widely and holds his hands out in a ‘ here i am ‘ motion.</p>
<p>“Yep, I’m Anakin, luke’s father.”</p>
<p>Finn feels a wave of fear.</p>
<p>“You’re Darth Vader.”</p>
<p>Anakin flinches, bows his head.</p>
<p>“Yes, I am.”</p>
<p>Finn can't help but ask:</p>
<p>“Do you know about Kylo Ren? He’s obsessed with you.”</p>
<p>Anakin laughs meanly.</p>
<p>“You mean the monster the son of my daughter and Han Solo has become? I know of him, he calls to me, but he gets no answer. I have given up the dark side, and I will not return to it.”</p>
<p>That makes finn feel a little more comfortable and he asks:</p>
<p>“So what freaky jedi ritual am I supposed to go through?”</p>
<p>Anakin shugs:</p>
<p>“Sometimes we have you face your worst fears, but we’re not really feeling that today. Instead, let’s talk about what’s bothering you.”</p>
<p>Finn says incredulously:</p>
<p>“Nothing’s bothering me.”</p>
<p>Anakin gives finn a look and says:</p>
<p>“It’s important for anyone to be in touch with their inner feelings, but especially a Jedi. So search your feelings and tell me what’s bothering you.”</p>
<p>Finn sighs and closes his eyes, searching through the muddle of his emotions. Finally he finds a current of discomfort and pulls at it until he feels he understands where it’s coming from. He opens his eyes and says:</p>
<p>“There’s such high expectations being placed on me, being a rebel, being a jedi, being Luke Skywalker’s son. A few months ago I was a nobody, now I’m a big shot with big responsibilities.  I feel overwhelmed.”</p>
<p>Anakin smiles approvingly.</p>
<p>“That’s why I was chosen to speak with you. I was a slave, treated like I wasn’t even a person, until I became a jedi and many believed I was the chosen one. I was under a lot of pressure, to put it lightly. So I have some advice for you. Would you like to hear it?”</p>
<p>Finn nods, curious what this unconventional jedi is going to tell him. Anakin continues:</p>
<p>“What they all think? It doesn’t matter. What’s important is you. What you think, what you feel, what you do. Talk is cheap, but actions are everything. They have expectations, who cares? Just do your best and you will be good enough. The people who are really important to you won’t be disappointed in you, but you already know that, don’t you?”</p>
<p>Finn tries to imagine Luke or Leia telling him he was a failure, or Rey turning her back on him. He knows they wouldn’t do that unless he had truly betrayed them, and probably not even then. He smiles softly at Anakin and breathes deeply, feeling calmer than he has in days. He says:</p>
<p>“Thanks, grandpa.”</p>
<p>Anakin nods and teases:</p>
<p>“Hey now, you’re making me feel old.”</p>
<p>Then Anakin extends a hand and a small glowing light rises from it. He says:</p>
<p>“You’ll need this.”</p>
<p>Finn reaches out and takes the tiny blue crystal. He asks:</p>
<p>“What is it?”</p>
<p>Anakin replies:</p>
<p>“A kyber crystal. The heart of a lightsaber.”</p>
<p>Finn feels humbled, looking down at the tiny crystal that holds such power. </p>
<p>“Thank you.”</p>
<p>Anakin nods and Finn waves goodbye, the blue light winking out as Anakin fades away. The walk back through the dark feels less tedious than the walk there, and soon enough Finn is back with Luke, Leia and Rey. Leia has a hand on Rey’s back and is talking to her lowly as they both smile. Rey is holding two yellow kyber crystals carefully. Luke greets Finn and asks:</p>
<p>“How did it go?”</p>
<p>“Well. He’s nice, and not what I expected.”</p>
<p>Luke grins and says:</p>
<p>“Glad you liked him. Get some useful advice?”</p>
<p>Finn nods and just then Leia turns to luke and him and says:</p>
<p>“Ready to go home you two?”</p>
<p>Luke and Finn nod in unison and follow the two women out of the maze, headed back to their shuttle. </p>
<p>---------</p>
<p>Finn settles down into their bed, next to Rey, a cup of steaming caf in hand. She rolls over to face him and teases:</p>
<p>“Caf this late at night? You’ll never get to sleep.”</p>
<p>Finn grumbles:</p>
<p>“The price I pay for love of caf.”</p>
<p>Rey laughs and throws her arms around him, almost spilling the caf as she pulls him down to her level. He laughs too and goes, curling into her side. They lie for a moment in silence, broken only by his sipping caf, until he asks:</p>
<p>“So, who did you speak to in the temple today?”</p>
<p>Rey rearranges her self so she can face him better as she says:</p>
<p>“A jedi named Kanan.”</p>
<p>Finn asks:</p>
<p>“You feel up to sharing what you talked about?”</p>
<p>Rey nods and continues:</p>
<p>“I told him I didn’t feel like I deserved to be a jedi. He told me he felt the same way for many years, and that for a long time he didn’t live up to the expectations of the old jedi. And yet he was successful, trained a padawan, became a jedi knight, and worked to defeat the then-ruling empire. He told me adhering to all the rules of the old jedi isn’t what makes you a jedi, it’s your heart and doing the right thing. ”</p>
<p>Finn hums, considering that, and says:</p>
<p>“Wow. That’s deep.”</p>
<p>Rey laughs and elbows him gently.</p>
<p>“Yeah, it was. How about you?”</p>
<p>Finn shrugs.</p>
<p>“Oh nothing much, just met darth vader.”</p>
<p>Rey sits up in shock. </p>
<p>“No, really?”</p>
<p>Finn nods and she shakes her head in amazement.</p>
<p>“Well, what did he say?”</p>
<p>“We talked about how I felt I had so many expectations to live up to, and he basically said kriff it all, do it for myself not for them. ”</p>
<p>Rey nods.</p>
<p>“Not bad advice.”</p>
<p>Finn smiles and cuddles into her arms, finally setting the empty caf cup down. He whispers thoughtfully:</p>
<p>“We’re really doing this, aren’t we?”</p>
<p>Rey sighs:</p>
<p>“Yeah, we are. We’re going to be great, finn. We’re going to bring the first order down.”</p>
<p>Finn grins and teases:</p>
<p>“Well, not all by ourselves.”</p>
<p>Rey rolls her eyes and replies:</p>
<p>“Obviously not.”</p>
<p>Then she leans into him and says:</p>
<p>“When I’m with you, I feel like I could do anything.”</p>
<p>Finn smile softly at her, feeling like he’s overflowing with love for her.</p>
<p>“Me too.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>----------</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. build</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw for this chapter: mentions of death</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>---------</p>
<p>Rey’s hands tremble slightly as she holds them out, manipulating two pieces of metal that she’s hovering in the air with the force. She brings them together slowly, almost slotting them into place, before her control slips and they crash into each other instead of gliding together like they should. The pieces clatter to the floor as her concentration breaks completely. She curses loudly and slams a hand against the wall, getting her anger out. Then she jokes:</p>
<p>“You know, I’m good at building things, you would think I would be good at this.”</p>
<p>Finn smiles gently at her before opening his arm wide in an invitation to hug. He says:</p>
<p>“Come here.”</p>
<p>Rey grins and scoots over until she’s pressed up against his side. She wraps her arms around his waist and he pulls his arms in, wrapping her up in an embrace. Then he whispers:</p>
<p>“You’re doing fine, you know that.” </p>
<p>She sighs.</p>
<p>“I know. But I don’t want to be doing just fine, I want to be doing stellar.”</p>
<p>He laughs and teases:</p>
<p>“Miss perfectionist.”</p>
<p>She laughs too and shrugs.</p>
<p>“I guess it is pretty silly, isn’t it.”</p>
<p>“Well, your feelings on the matter are real, but you’re worrying an awful lot over something not that important. The lightsaber will get built in time.”</p>
<p>She smirks at him and teases:</p>
<p>“Now you sound like luke.”</p>
<p>“I’ll take that as a compliment.”</p>
<p>Rey smiles, but suddenly sobers.</p>
<p>“I guess I just feel like having a real lightsaber will fix all my problems. It’ll make me a real jedi, make me invincible.”</p>
<p>Finn says gently;</p>
<p>“You know that’s not true.”</p>
<p>Rey sighs and shrugs.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I know. I’ve got to remember nothing will guarantee my safety, not even being a jedi. That's just something I have to learn to deal with.”</p>
<p>Finn nods.</p>
<p>“I understand. I’ve always been afraid of death, but now more than ever. It’s an ever present possibility now that we’re with the rebellion.”</p>
<p>Rey hums, thinking, and says: </p>
<p>“You would think we’d be used to it, me growing up on jakku and you being trained as cannon fodder, essentially.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think anyone ever gets used to it.”</p>
<p>Rey nods and they lapse into silence for a moment, until Rey says:</p>
<p>“Thanks for talking, Finn.”</p>
<p>Finn smile and hugs her tighter, saying:</p>
<p>“Anytime. ”</p>
<p>---------</p>
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